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As a teacher, what did your student do that made it hard to keep a straight face?译文简介
网友：很久以前，我曾教过八年级某个男生班的英语。在大多数情况下，他们是一群很棒的孩子，但是，嘿，他们可是8年级的男孩，他们的集体幽默感一般都指向洗手间......
正文翻译
As a teacher, what did your student do that made it hard to keep a straight face?
作为一名教师，你的学生做了什么让你很难保持绷着脸？
评论翻译
Steve Good, Writer & Editor (2018-present)
Once upon a time a great many years ago, I taught English to a class of grade 8 boys.
For the most part, they were a great bunch of kids…but hey — they were grade 8 boys, and their collective sense of humor was generally oriented in the direction of the bathroom.
There were two guys in that class (let’s call them Ken and Sam) who had been close friends since grade 1, and they loved to play practical jokes on each other. On a calm day, I could expect to find one of them hiding behind the classroom door with an upraised book or binder, just waiting to crown the other one from behind when he sauntered through the door. They decked each other regularly, despite my admonitions that they should desist because someone was going to get hurt for real.
One day, during an in-class writing exercise, Sam got up and approached me with an odd look on his face. He asked if he could go the washroom; I agreed that he could, and off he went. He came back a few minutes later, with the same odd look on his face.
很久以前，我曾教过八年级某个男生班的英语。
在大多数情况下，他们是一群很棒的孩子，但是，嘿，他们可是8年级的男孩，他们的集体幽默感一般都指向洗手间。
那个班的肯和萨姆从一年级起就是好朋友，他们喜欢互相搞恶作剧。在一个平静的日子里，我可能发现了他们中的一个人藏在教室门后，手里拿着一本翘起的书或活页夹，正等着当另一个进门时从身后好扣在他的头上因为担心有人会受到真正的伤害，尽管我也告诫他们应该停止，但他们仍然经常互相打闹。
有一天，在一次课堂写作练习中，萨姆站起来，而且脸上带着奇怪的表情走近我。他问他能不能去洗手间；我同意后他就走了。几分钟后他又回来了，脸上也带着同样奇怪的表情。
Once upon a time a great many years ago, I taught English to a class of grade 8 boys.
For the most part, they were a great bunch of kids…but hey — they were grade 8 boys, and their collective sense of humor was generally oriented in the direction of the bathroom.
There were two guys in that class (let’s call them Ken and Sam) who had been close friends since grade 1, and they loved to play practical jokes on each other. On a calm day, I could expect to find one of them hiding behind the classroom door with an upraised book or binder, just waiting to crown the other one from behind when he sauntered through the door. They decked each other regularly, despite my admonitions that they should desist because someone was going to get hurt for real.
One day, during an in-class writing exercise, Sam got up and approached me with an odd look on his face. He asked if he could go the washroom; I agreed that he could, and off he went. He came back a few minutes later, with the same odd look on his face.
很久以前，我曾教过八年级某个男生班的英语。
在大多数情况下，他们是一群很棒的孩子，但是，嘿，他们可是8年级的男孩，他们的集体幽默感一般都指向洗手间。
那个班的肯和萨姆从一年级起就是好朋友，他们喜欢互相搞恶作剧。在一个平静的日子里，我可能发现了他们中的一个人藏在教室门后，手里拿着一本翘起的书或活页夹，正等着当另一个进门时从身后好扣在他的头上因为担心有人会受到真正的伤害，尽管我也告诫他们应该停止，但他们仍然经常互相打闹。
有一天，在一次课堂写作练习中，萨姆站起来，而且脸上带着奇怪的表情走近我。他问他能不能去洗手间；我同意后他就走了。几分钟后他又回来了，脸上也带着同样奇怪的表情。
As he made his way back to his place, he slowed and then paused briefly right beside Ken’s desk. Then he turned and looked at me, and gave me this huge, evil grin.
It was dead silent in the classroom. All the other students, including Ken, were focused on the writing exercise. Sam arched his back, pointed his hindquarters in Ken’s direction, and let go with a giant, ripping fart that lasted about 15 seconds. It was one of those farts that — in the late George Carlin’s words — could have cleared a plane at 30,000 feet.
Ken leaped from his desk with a look of mortal terror on his face. He inhaled to yell at Sam and immediately started to gag at the apparently horrible stench emanating from Sam. The other boys immediately began cursing Sam and heading for the door.
I’m pretty sure that fart peeled the paint off the classroom walls. The vice principal found all of us in the hall — all of us except Sam, who was lying on the floor in the classroom, hooting at the top of his lungs.
Smart-ass.
Grade 8 boys. God love ‘em.
当他回到自己的地方，他放慢了脚步，然后在肯的课桌旁短暂地停了下来。然后他转过身来看着我，并且朝我邪魅一笑。
教室里一片寂静。包括肯在内的所有其他学生都专注于写作练习。萨姆拱起背，把下半身指向肯的方向，然后放了个大屁，持续了15秒。用已故的乔治·卡林的话来说，就是这样一个屁，都可以打下一架在三万英尺高空的飞机。
肯从桌子上跳下来，脸上带着极度恐惧的表情。他吸了一口气，冲着萨姆大喊大叫，随即开始呕吐，因为萨姆身上散发出一股明显可怕的臭味。其他男孩立刻开始咒骂萨姆的同时朝门口走去。
我敢肯定那个屁把教室墙上的油漆都弄剥掉了。副校长发现除了萨姆，我们大部分在外面，还有些人都躺在教室的地板上，大喊大叫。
八年级男生。自作聪明的家伙。上帝爱他们。
It was dead silent in the classroom. All the other students, including Ken, were focused on the writing exercise. Sam arched his back, pointed his hindquarters in Ken’s direction, and let go with a giant, ripping fart that lasted about 15 seconds. It was one of those farts that — in the late George Carlin’s words — could have cleared a plane at 30,000 feet.
Ken leaped from his desk with a look of mortal terror on his face. He inhaled to yell at Sam and immediately started to gag at the apparently horrible stench emanating from Sam. The other boys immediately began cursing Sam and heading for the door.
I’m pretty sure that fart peeled the paint off the classroom walls. The vice principal found all of us in the hall — all of us except Sam, who was lying on the floor in the classroom, hooting at the top of his lungs.
Smart-ass.
Grade 8 boys. God love ‘em.
当他回到自己的地方，他放慢了脚步，然后在肯的课桌旁短暂地停了下来。然后他转过身来看着我，并且朝我邪魅一笑。
教室里一片寂静。包括肯在内的所有其他学生都专注于写作练习。萨姆拱起背，把下半身指向肯的方向，然后放了个大屁，持续了15秒。用已故的乔治·卡林的话来说，就是这样一个屁，都可以打下一架在三万英尺高空的飞机。
肯从桌子上跳下来，脸上带着极度恐惧的表情。他吸了一口气，冲着萨姆大喊大叫，随即开始呕吐，因为萨姆身上散发出一股明显可怕的臭味。其他男孩立刻开始咒骂萨姆的同时朝门口走去。
我敢肯定那个屁把教室墙上的油漆都弄剥掉了。副校长发现除了萨姆，我们大部分在外面，还有些人都躺在教室的地板上，大喊大叫。
八年级男生。自作聪明的家伙。上帝爱他们。
Just as they’re heading off to get their books little Johnny who had previously not come up with any words looked very excited, waving his hand about piped up. “I’ve got one, I’ve got one!”. Now Johnny wasn’t the cleverest kid in the class but he tried so I asked the class to listen very carefully to what Johnny was going to say and probably give him a clap after he said his verb.
‘What’s your verb Johnny and I’ll write it on the board?’ I’d had tried to build up the class so Johnny would feel rewarded for his effort.
In a pretty strong voice Johnny said ”Fucking!!! that’s a doing word”. I remember just being a bit flabbergasted and not saying anything. Johnny went on to say, “You know Fucking!! When you fuck someone!”
”That’s a doing word, isn’t it, you know when you fuck someone?”, he blurted it out without a care in the world. No one had told him about swearing yet but I started that day.
“Well we might leave that one out Johnny, that’s a swear word”, I said. “Why, what’s a sweat word?”.
I’m sure you can imagine the rest of the conversation. I told the staff at lunch and it was a crack up. Apparently little Johnny, was the youngest of 6 kids. His dad used to swear a lot and they all lived in a big shed as they’d been building a house in the country.
One funny moment!
就在他们要去拿书的时候，之前一句话也没说的小约翰尼看上去很兴奋，他挥舞着他的手，说道：“我想到一个，我想到一个！”约翰尼并不是班上最聪明的孩子，但他勇于尝试，所以我让全班同学仔细听约翰尼要说的话，并尽可能想在他说了动词后给他鼓掌。
“约翰尼，你的动词是什么，我把它写在黑板上？”我本想把班上的人都调动起来，这样约翰尼就会觉得自己的努力得到了回报。
约翰尼用很强的声音说：“Fucking（操）！这是一个“动”词。我记得当时有点目瞪口呆，什么也没说。约翰尼接着说，“你知道Fucking（操）！当你和别人上床的时候！”
“那是一个动词，不是吗，你知道的，当你和某人做爱的时候？”他毫不在意地脱口而出。之前还没有人告诉过他这是脏话，但那天我跟他说了。
“好吧，约翰尼，那是一句脏话。”我说，“为什么，它是脏话呢？”.
我相信你能想象剩下的对话。然后我在午餐时告诉工作人员这一场闹剧。小约翰尼是6个孩子中最小的。他爸爸以前经常骂人，他们都住在乡下盖的一个大棚屋里。
这是一个有趣的时刻！
‘What’s your verb Johnny and I’ll write it on the board?’ I’d had tried to build up the class so Johnny would feel rewarded for his effort.
In a pretty strong voice Johnny said ”Fucking!!! that’s a doing word”. I remember just being a bit flabbergasted and not saying anything. Johnny went on to say, “You know Fucking!! When you fuck someone!”
”That’s a doing word, isn’t it, you know when you fuck someone?”, he blurted it out without a care in the world. No one had told him about swearing yet but I started that day.
“Well we might leave that one out Johnny, that’s a swear word”, I said. “Why, what’s a sweat word?”.
I’m sure you can imagine the rest of the conversation. I told the staff at lunch and it was a crack up. Apparently little Johnny, was the youngest of 6 kids. His dad used to swear a lot and they all lived in a big shed as they’d been building a house in the country.
One funny moment!
就在他们要去拿书的时候，之前一句话也没说的小约翰尼看上去很兴奋，他挥舞着他的手，说道：“我想到一个，我想到一个！”约翰尼并不是班上最聪明的孩子，但他勇于尝试，所以我让全班同学仔细听约翰尼要说的话，并尽可能想在他说了动词后给他鼓掌。
“约翰尼，你的动词是什么，我把它写在黑板上？”我本想把班上的人都调动起来，这样约翰尼就会觉得自己的努力得到了回报。
约翰尼用很强的声音说：“Fucking（操）！这是一个“动”词。我记得当时有点目瞪口呆，什么也没说。约翰尼接着说，“你知道Fucking（操）！当你和别人上床的时候！”
“那是一个动词，不是吗，你知道的，当你和某人做爱的时候？”他毫不在意地脱口而出。之前还没有人告诉过他这是脏话，但那天我跟他说了。
“好吧，约翰尼，那是一句脏话。”我说，“为什么，它是脏话呢？”.
我相信你能想象剩下的对话。然后我在午餐时告诉工作人员这一场闹剧。小约翰尼是6个孩子中最小的。他爸爸以前经常骂人，他们都住在乡下盖的一个大棚屋里。
这是一个有趣的时刻！
Anonymous
This was my very first year as a teacher. I was young (22) and fresh out of college. I was also a much fitter guy than I am now.
I had a student who was struggling with the physics we were going over, so I decided to create a practice test for the students that I would have them do and then go over each answer with them.
I decided that I would use the practice test as the form for the real test and just change the values used in each problem. It was our first test of the year and I decided that I would do this for each chapter and as the year went on I would have the practice test and real test deviate a little more each time.
So this student, an attractive girl in her senior, year really worked hard on the practice test, but was still freaked out when we got to test day.
When I handed out the test forms she realized that the questions were almost the same except for the values she needed to use and she got very excited. The next words out of her mouth were “Oh my god! I want to be your lover!” After she said this out loud her face turned red.
Now, I paused, and forced my face to remain as impassive as possible. I could have said something in reply, but I just kept going as if nothing had happened.
I know what she wanted to say was something along the lines of “I love that you made the practice test and the real test almost the same.” but with me barely being older than her at the time I figured the safest bet was to just act as if I had never heard it, even though it was loud, and I was standing right in front of her at the time.
这是我当老师的第一年。那时我还年轻，刚从大学毕业。那时我也比现在健康多了。
我有一个学生正在为我们要复习的物理而挣扎，所以我决定给学生设置一个练习测试让他们做，然后和他们一起讨论每个答案。
我决定将练习测试作为真正测试的形式，只需更改每个问题中使用的数值就可以。这是我们今年的第一次测试，我决定在每一章设置这个测试，随着一年的过去，我每次都会让练习测试和真实考试有所差别。
所以这个学生，一个高年级的漂亮女孩，在练习测试上真的很努力，但是当我们到了考试日的时候，她还是被吓坏了。
当我分发测试表格时，她意识到除了她需要使用的数值之外，这些问题和练习时几乎是一样的，她非常兴奋。接下来她嘴里说的是“天哪！我想成为你的爱人！“她大声说出来后，脸红了。
我停了下来，强迫自己的脸尽量保持冷漠。我本来可以说些什么作为回答的，但我还是继续往前走，好像什么也没发生似的。
我知道她想说的是类似于“我喜欢你，因为你的练习测试和真正的测试几乎一样”这样的话。但由于我当时几乎不会比她大，尽管声音很大，而我当时也站在她面前，我想最保险的办法就是表现得好像从来没有听到过一样，
This was my very first year as a teacher. I was young (22) and fresh out of college. I was also a much fitter guy than I am now.
I had a student who was struggling with the physics we were going over, so I decided to create a practice test for the students that I would have them do and then go over each answer with them.
I decided that I would use the practice test as the form for the real test and just change the values used in each problem. It was our first test of the year and I decided that I would do this for each chapter and as the year went on I would have the practice test and real test deviate a little more each time.
So this student, an attractive girl in her senior, year really worked hard on the practice test, but was still freaked out when we got to test day.
When I handed out the test forms she realized that the questions were almost the same except for the values she needed to use and she got very excited. The next words out of her mouth were “Oh my god! I want to be your lover!” After she said this out loud her face turned red.
Now, I paused, and forced my face to remain as impassive as possible. I could have said something in reply, but I just kept going as if nothing had happened.
I know what she wanted to say was something along the lines of “I love that you made the practice test and the real test almost the same.” but with me barely being older than her at the time I figured the safest bet was to just act as if I had never heard it, even though it was loud, and I was standing right in front of her at the time.
这是我当老师的第一年。那时我还年轻，刚从大学毕业。那时我也比现在健康多了。
我有一个学生正在为我们要复习的物理而挣扎，所以我决定给学生设置一个练习测试让他们做，然后和他们一起讨论每个答案。
我决定将练习测试作为真正测试的形式，只需更改每个问题中使用的数值就可以。这是我们今年的第一次测试，我决定在每一章设置这个测试，随着一年的过去，我每次都会让练习测试和真实考试有所差别。
所以这个学生，一个高年级的漂亮女孩，在练习测试上真的很努力，但是当我们到了考试日的时候，她还是被吓坏了。
当我分发测试表格时，她意识到除了她需要使用的数值之外，这些问题和练习时几乎是一样的，她非常兴奋。接下来她嘴里说的是“天哪！我想成为你的爱人！“她大声说出来后，脸红了。
我停了下来，强迫自己的脸尽量保持冷漠。我本来可以说些什么作为回答的，但我还是继续往前走，好像什么也没发生似的。
我知道她想说的是类似于“我喜欢你，因为你的练习测试和真正的测试几乎一样”这样的话。但由于我当时几乎不会比她大，尽管声音很大，而我当时也站在她面前，我想最保险的办法就是表现得好像从来没有听到过一样，
Robert M. Wallis, MA Education & Mathematics (2001)
I was teaching 8th grade math at an inner city school. One kid was a non-stop talker and I had to be on him repeatedly to stop talking and pay attention. He got aggravated at being called out, and accused me of picking on him because he was black. I paused for a moment deciding how to deal with him, and in the short pause, one of the other students handled it for me way more deftly that I would have, telling the miscreant, “You fool! We’re all black in here. He’s picking on you because you’re an asshole!” I had to turn around so I wouldn’t be seen laughing as the rest of the class laughed in hearty agreement.
我在市中心的一所学校教八年级数学。有一个孩子是个不停地说话的人，我不得不反复地让他停止说话，集中注意力。他因被批评而生气，并指责我因为他是黑人而欺负他。我停顿了一会儿好决定如何对付他，在短暂的停顿中，另一个学生处理这件事的方式比我要灵活得多，他对那个恶棍说：“你这个傻瓜！我们这里都是黑人。他找你麻烦是因为你是个混蛋！“我不得不转过身去，以免别人看到我在笑，因为全班同学都笑得很开心。
I was teaching 8th grade math at an inner city school. One kid was a non-stop talker and I had to be on him repeatedly to stop talking and pay attention. He got aggravated at being called out, and accused me of picking on him because he was black. I paused for a moment deciding how to deal with him, and in the short pause, one of the other students handled it for me way more deftly that I would have, telling the miscreant, “You fool! We’re all black in here. He’s picking on you because you’re an asshole!” I had to turn around so I wouldn’t be seen laughing as the rest of the class laughed in hearty agreement.
我在市中心的一所学校教八年级数学。有一个孩子是个不停地说话的人，我不得不反复地让他停止说话，集中注意力。他因被批评而生气，并指责我因为他是黑人而欺负他。我停顿了一会儿好决定如何对付他，在短暂的停顿中，另一个学生处理这件事的方式比我要灵活得多，他对那个恶棍说：“你这个傻瓜！我们这里都是黑人。他找你麻烦是因为你是个混蛋！“我不得不转过身去，以免别人看到我在笑，因为全班同学都笑得很开心。
Vikki Cravens
I had this fourth grade student who was a major discipline problem. Tried lots of strategies. So I kept him after school one day, and said it would be for thirty minutes. He went kind of nuts, turning over desks, throwing books around. I just stayed calm, pretended to read something, and waited him out. Which was the entire plan.
Where I almost laughed - he kept calling me “four-eyes.” I had glasses, but don’t even know how that occured to him. But at least, he didn’t curse me outright, and that was it for personal insults.
After about fifteen minutes, I was like “straighten up everything, and we can go on with our lives.” He did, and it worked mostly, he was definitely more in control of himself after that, and not so disruptive that it screwed up the whole classroom.
我有一个四年级的学生，他存在严重的纪律问题。我尝试了很多策略。之后有一天放学后我留下他，说需要留校30分钟。他发了疯似地翻桌子，扔书。我只是保持镇静，假装在看书，然后等他出去。这就是整个计划。
差点让我笑出来的就是他一直叫我“四只眼”——我戴着眼镜，都不知道这哪里招惹他了。但至少，他没有直接咒骂我，虽然那也是对我的侮辱。
大约过了15分钟，就像“整理好一切，我们可以继续我们的生活。”一样。他做到了，而且效果不错，以后他肯定能更好的控制自己了。
I had this fourth grade student who was a major discipline problem. Tried lots of strategies. So I kept him after school one day, and said it would be for thirty minutes. He went kind of nuts, turning over desks, throwing books around. I just stayed calm, pretended to read something, and waited him out. Which was the entire plan.
Where I almost laughed - he kept calling me “four-eyes.” I had glasses, but don’t even know how that occured to him. But at least, he didn’t curse me outright, and that was it for personal insults.
After about fifteen minutes, I was like “straighten up everything, and we can go on with our lives.” He did, and it worked mostly, he was definitely more in control of himself after that, and not so disruptive that it screwed up the whole classroom.
我有一个四年级的学生，他存在严重的纪律问题。我尝试了很多策略。之后有一天放学后我留下他，说需要留校30分钟。他发了疯似地翻桌子，扔书。我只是保持镇静，假装在看书，然后等他出去。这就是整个计划。
差点让我笑出来的就是他一直叫我“四只眼”——我戴着眼镜，都不知道这哪里招惹他了。但至少，他没有直接咒骂我，虽然那也是对我的侮辱。
大约过了15分钟，就像“整理好一切，我们可以继续我们的生活。”一样。他做到了，而且效果不错，以后他肯定能更好的控制自己了。
Brad Harris, 8 years as teaching English as a foreign language.
I was teaching English as a second language to a small group of adults and they were all mostly related or friends.
With English, pronunciation is always tricky and I'm well accustomed to providing small corrections.
On this particular day, we were discussing food and drinks and I was trying to give them some more confidence in their speaking with easy questions like which is your favourite food, drink, restaurant etc. At this point, one of the ladies who's turn it was said “I love cock”.
“Erm, pardon??” I was trying to stifle smiling let alone laughing out loud.
She repeated it again and I just had to laugh. How can you not? I corrected with the correct pronunciation of Coke, after she reiterated a couple of times before saying Cock-a-Cola. I went on to explain the actual meaning of what she had said, in front of her husband and brother…
End class…
我教一小群成年人英语作为他们的第二语言，他们大多是亲戚或朋友。
对于英语来说，发音总是很棘手，我习惯于提供一些小的修正方案。
在一个特殊的日子，我们在讨论食物和饮料，我想通过一些简单的问题使他们对自己的发音更有信心，如哪些是你最喜欢的食物、饮料、餐厅等。针对这一问题，一位女士在轮到时说：“我爱Coke（公鸡）”。
“呃，什么？“我试着憋笑，更别说大声笑了。
她又重复了一遍，我只好笑了出来。你怎么能做到不笑呢？在她反复说了好几次“Coke（公鸡）”之后，我用“Cock-a-Cola”可乐的正确发音纠正了她。我接着在她丈夫和哥哥面前解释了她所说的话的真正含义…
下课…
I was teaching English as a second language to a small group of adults and they were all mostly related or friends.
With English, pronunciation is always tricky and I'm well accustomed to providing small corrections.
On this particular day, we were discussing food and drinks and I was trying to give them some more confidence in their speaking with easy questions like which is your favourite food, drink, restaurant etc. At this point, one of the ladies who's turn it was said “I love cock”.
“Erm, pardon??” I was trying to stifle smiling let alone laughing out loud.
She repeated it again and I just had to laugh. How can you not? I corrected with the correct pronunciation of Coke, after she reiterated a couple of times before saying Cock-a-Cola. I went on to explain the actual meaning of what she had said, in front of her husband and brother…
End class…
我教一小群成年人英语作为他们的第二语言，他们大多是亲戚或朋友。
对于英语来说，发音总是很棘手，我习惯于提供一些小的修正方案。
在一个特殊的日子，我们在讨论食物和饮料，我想通过一些简单的问题使他们对自己的发音更有信心，如哪些是你最喜欢的食物、饮料、餐厅等。针对这一问题，一位女士在轮到时说：“我爱Coke（公鸡）”。
“呃，什么？“我试着憋笑，更别说大声笑了。
她又重复了一遍，我只好笑了出来。你怎么能做到不笑呢？在她反复说了好几次“Coke（公鸡）”之后，我用“Cock-a-Cola”可乐的正确发音纠正了她。我接着在她丈夫和哥哥面前解释了她所说的话的真正含义…
下课…
Randy Kiyabu, Credential Education, National University (2012)
I had subbed a class as a favor for a friend when I was off track .I asked '' Bill '' why he took so much writing paper. Another student yelled ''He is getting all of the paper to write to his Mama in jail.'' I laughed and even the principal had a hard time keeping a straight face.
I had a student who could really pass gas at will. It was so bad I would have to open the door which infuriated the class because they did not want others to see my small class size which was indicative of a Special Education class. I called home to inquire if their was a medical reason prior to issuing a detention.
曾无所事事的时候，我出于爱好帮一个朋友代课。我问“比尔”他为什么拿这么多的信纸。另一个学生大喊“他要把所有的信纸都写给他在监狱里的妈妈。”我笑了，甚至连校长都很难保持一个绷着的脸。
我有一个学生真的会随意放屁。这太糟糕了，我不得不打开门，这激怒了全班同学，因为他们不想让别人看到我的小班规模，这会表明我的班级是一个特殊教育班。在罚他放学后留校之前，我打电话询问了他们家人这是否属于某种疾病。
I had subbed a class as a favor for a friend when I was off track .I asked '' Bill '' why he took so much writing paper. Another student yelled ''He is getting all of the paper to write to his Mama in jail.'' I laughed and even the principal had a hard time keeping a straight face.
I had a student who could really pass gas at will. It was so bad I would have to open the door which infuriated the class because they did not want others to see my small class size which was indicative of a Special Education class. I called home to inquire if their was a medical reason prior to issuing a detention.
曾无所事事的时候，我出于爱好帮一个朋友代课。我问“比尔”他为什么拿这么多的信纸。另一个学生大喊“他要把所有的信纸都写给他在监狱里的妈妈。”我笑了，甚至连校长都很难保持一个绷着的脸。
我有一个学生真的会随意放屁。这太糟糕了，我不得不打开门，这激怒了全班同学，因为他们不想让别人看到我的小班规模，这会表明我的班级是一个特殊教育班。在罚他放学后留校之前，我打电话询问了他们家人这是否属于某种疾病。
Karin Krueger
There was a teenager whose ultimate talent was the ability to issue the loudest and most odiferous blasts of flatulence with a strong dietary component of fish and seafood. He could clear the classroom. He would sing, to the tune of I Believe I Can Fly!, “I believer I can fart! Spread my cheeks so wide apart! I think about it night and day! Spread my cheeks and fly away! I believe I can toot! Smells like dead fish and rotten fruit!” He loved to come up with new verses.
有一个少年，他的终极天赋是能够发出最响亮、最令人作呕的肠胃胀气声，并含有大量的鱼类和海鲜的味道。这种味道可以充满整个教室。然后他会开始唱《I Believe I Can Fly!》的改编版： “我相信我可以放屁！把我的屁股张开！我日夜想着它！张开我的屁股飞走！我相信我会噗噗噗！闻起来像死鱼和腐烂的水果！“他喜欢加上新的歌词。
There was a teenager whose ultimate talent was the ability to issue the loudest and most odiferous blasts of flatulence with a strong dietary component of fish and seafood. He could clear the classroom. He would sing, to the tune of I Believe I Can Fly!, “I believer I can fart! Spread my cheeks so wide apart! I think about it night and day! Spread my cheeks and fly away! I believe I can toot! Smells like dead fish and rotten fruit!” He loved to come up with new verses.
有一个少年，他的终极天赋是能够发出最响亮、最令人作呕的肠胃胀气声，并含有大量的鱼类和海鲜的味道。这种味道可以充满整个教室。然后他会开始唱《I Believe I Can Fly!》的改编版： “我相信我可以放屁！把我的屁股张开！我日夜想着它！张开我的屁股飞走！我相信我会噗噗噗！闻起来像死鱼和腐烂的水果！“他喜欢加上新的歌词。
Sharon Go, studied Education at Monash University
Actually it was something I did - when I was a grad, I managed to draw parts of a diagram right on the wall! I had a projector putting part of it up and I thought it was like other classrooms where they project on the whiteboard… well really, I didn’t think at all but it was a pretty silly mistake! The kids were too shocked to do anything at first and then thankfully one told me! It was impossible not to laugh along as well
事实上，这是我做的事情，当我还是一个研究生的时候，我设法在墙上画了一个图表的一部分！我通过一个投影仪，把它的另一部分投影上去，我认为其他教室也是这样在白板上投影。嗯，真的，我一点也没想到这是一个相当愚蠢的错误！孩子们一开始吓得什么都不敢做，幸好后有一个孩子告诉了我！我不得不和他们一起笑。
Actually it was something I did - when I was a grad, I managed to draw parts of a diagram right on the wall! I had a projector putting part of it up and I thought it was like other classrooms where they project on the whiteboard… well really, I didn’t think at all but it was a pretty silly mistake! The kids were too shocked to do anything at first and then thankfully one told me! It was impossible not to laugh along as well
事实上，这是我做的事情，当我还是一个研究生的时候，我设法在墙上画了一个图表的一部分！我通过一个投影仪，把它的另一部分投影上去，我认为其他教室也是这样在白板上投影。嗯，真的，我一点也没想到这是一个相当愚蠢的错误！孩子们一开始吓得什么都不敢做，幸好后有一个孩子告诉了我！我不得不和他们一起笑。
Miroslav Ma?ari?, Freelance Innovation Consultant at Selfemployed (2016-present)
Trying to cheat by copy/paste in essay: 3–5 keywords are enough to find the source. If I see the literally copied text, it is funny how students thing that teacher is stupid. Instead of laughing, I keep a straight face and say: “Nice try, but do try once more!”.
试图通过复制粘贴来作弊：凭借3-5个关键词足以找到来源。如果我看到逐字抄写的课文，我会觉得很可笑，学生们是觉得老师有多傻呢。我没有笑，而是绷着脸说：“很好的尝试，但一定要再试一次！”
Trying to cheat by copy/paste in essay: 3–5 keywords are enough to find the source. If I see the literally copied text, it is funny how students thing that teacher is stupid. Instead of laughing, I keep a straight face and say: “Nice try, but do try once more!”.
试图通过复制粘贴来作弊：凭借3-5个关键词足以找到来源。如果我看到逐字抄写的课文，我会觉得很可笑，学生们是觉得老师有多傻呢。我没有笑，而是绷着脸说：“很好的尝试，但一定要再试一次！”
Tommy Pengelly, tgay
It happened occasionally in the elementary schools I was dispatched to, but one example was when I was teaching 6th graders English. I asked one of the more vocal kids to do something, and he replies with “Ladies First”. I had no idea that this was a phrase said in Japan (probably used on TV), and was so shocked that a Japanese 12 year old knew this phrase that I just burst into laughter for a good few minutes, along with the class who were surprised to see me react so.
在我被派遣到的小学里，这种情况偶尔会发生，但有一个例子是我教六年级学生英语的时候。我让一个声音比较大的孩子做点什么，他回答说“女士优先”。我不知道原来日本也会用这句话（可能是在电视上用过），我非常震惊，一个12岁的日本人竟然知道这句话，于是我突然大笑了好几分钟，全班同学惊讶地看到我如此反应，也和我一起大笑。
It happened occasionally in the elementary schools I was dispatched to, but one example was when I was teaching 6th graders English. I asked one of the more vocal kids to do something, and he replies with “Ladies First”. I had no idea that this was a phrase said in Japan (probably used on TV), and was so shocked that a Japanese 12 year old knew this phrase that I just burst into laughter for a good few minutes, along with the class who were surprised to see me react so.
在我被派遣到的小学里，这种情况偶尔会发生，但有一个例子是我教六年级学生英语的时候。我让一个声音比较大的孩子做点什么，他回答说“女士优先”。我不知道原来日本也会用这句话（可能是在电视上用过），我非常震惊，一个12岁的日本人竟然知道这句话，于是我突然大笑了好几分钟，全班同学惊讶地看到我如此反应，也和我一起大笑。
Sophie Metcalf, Teacher in Australia (2010-present)
The class was 12–13 year olds to whom I was teaching cooking. There is a technique called rubbing in which involves rubbing flour and butter between your thumb and fingers. I asked my class what the technique was called. They were stumped so I maimed the motion with my hands. A lovely innocent girl piped up “fingering?!? Miss” realised what she had said, turned bright red and the whole class including two very prim teacher’s assistants burst into giggles.
这个班都是12到13岁的学生，我教他们烹饪。有一种称为揉搓的方法，就是在拇指和手指之间揉搓面粉和黄油。我问班上的同学这项技术叫什么。他们被难住了，所以我用手示范了这个动作。一个天真可爱的女孩回答道“挑逗？！”这位小姐意识到她所说的话后脸红了，全班包括两个非常拘谨的助教都咯咯地笑了起来。
The class was 12–13 year olds to whom I was teaching cooking. There is a technique called rubbing in which involves rubbing flour and butter between your thumb and fingers. I asked my class what the technique was called. They were stumped so I maimed the motion with my hands. A lovely innocent girl piped up “fingering?!? Miss” realised what she had said, turned bright red and the whole class including two very prim teacher’s assistants burst into giggles.
这个班都是12到13岁的学生，我教他们烹饪。有一种称为揉搓的方法，就是在拇指和手指之间揉搓面粉和黄油。我问班上的同学这项技术叫什么。他们被难住了，所以我用手示范了这个动作。一个天真可爱的女孩回答道“挑逗？！”这位小姐意识到她所说的话后脸红了，全班包括两个非常拘谨的助教都咯咯地笑了起来。
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